As the first effect of the emerging awareness of my own internal communication, I made a conscious decision to stop my current active actions of bringing immediate relief to the body with medication, considering that it causes more harm than good. I decided (for the second time in my life) that I would not undergo sinus surgery for the approval of the so-called forces of nature. In other words, I will enter the mode of action through inaction, allow the body to take control of the self-regulation process, but in full readiness to help it in this process, and not, so far, to do and interrupt.

I noticed that body language is a non-verbal language. If the usually automatic process of converting this language into the language of mind decisions has been disturbed, and you need to re-grasp its operating principle and consciously introduce it to a new, correct habit, reading and interpretation can be a challenge. It speaks of sensations in the body (tingling, tickling, pain, cramps, numbness, etc.) and / or emotions (sadness, regret, fear, etc.) and contains an unusual amount of subtlety. From the level of empathy and knowledge of your own mind depends how exactly it will be understood, and in the further process - its needs will be met.

It is like a way of communication for an infant who has not yet developed the ability to communicate using language and to find out what he needs, the whole process of guessing and examining his response to the suggestions of the guardian is necessary, where the key test of guess validity is satisfaction and, in the long run, health ward. Similarly, communication takes place inside an adult, except that if we do or give ourselves something that does not serve us, instead of crying we will get the effect of body discomfort in a more or less understandable form, and in the long run poor communication - loss of balance and illness.

For a change, the mind often uses thoughts that can be expressed to some extent. Simply put, it has the ability to receive body signals, interpret them based on available information, and make decisions. The quality of his decision is said by the individual's condition and health in every dimension.

It wasn't good for me. I decided to take a closer look at how my body and my mind communicate with each other and whether anything can be improved in this matter. And if so, what and how.

I remembered how I made decisions in the past. Based on what signals from the body I made what decisions and what the consequences were.

I noticed that in communication between my body and mind, a mistake often made by me (in short - the mind) is incorrect reading of information flowing from the body. What was the "misconduct" about? For example, the body sent a signal in the form of a nauseating feeling in the stomach, which the mind interpreted as hunger. The body got food, then it started to feel bad and the feeling in the stomach remained. In the mind library, this feeling was hunger, and there was no hunger. Until this feeling was verified and a new approach was applied, the mind “packed” food into the body each time with a similar feeling, becoming increasingly frustrated because it saw the effects of these decisions, but did not know what was wrong and how to find out what the body needs it.

I wasn't quite clear what to do with the wrong reading and how to translate it to the right one. How to break out of the circle of misinterpretation of the body signal. There was nothing else to do but gain experiential knowledge and STOP with each body signal that was interpreted incorrectly in the past, and think about another interpretation that would result in a better, more serving decision. I HAVE DECIDED THAT AS I WILL FEEL THE KNOWN FEEL - I WILL WAIT A FEW MINUTES BEFORE I MAKE A DECISION AS TO THE NEEDS OF THE BODY. It wasn't much to start with, but at least I left the position where I couldn't take any further steps. A new goal appeared, actually the old and the same - health, and a slightly modified way to achieve it - to improve the internal communication of the body and mind, as a result of which my own decisions will start to serve me, and not plunge even more into the disease.

In the course of further considerations, I noticed that I have, in my own essence, two basic entities cooperating with each other, in order to keep me alive, i.e. a bodily / sentient being (physically and mentally), simplify the body or BODY and a thinking being, simplify the MIND (this conscious part of me, which usually hampered and disturbed my body). I do not go into any more ideological or complex divisions. I mean some simplification for easier communication of your thoughts. 

I noticed that there is a kind of "dialogue" between them, the type of communication, and the quality of this communication to a large extent decide to keep me healthy, or to upset my balance in the long run leading to diseases.

I understood that in a healthy body this communication does not have to be the subject of consideration at all, that one can function quite well without knowing about its existence, because it works naturally and automatically. However, when a crisis occurs, as in my case, it is necessary to re-create the whole mechanism and re-education, because the very fact of the crisis has shown that the decision mechanism (mind) has an error and a malfunctioning mind is a threat to the life of the individual, in this case me . Therefore, you have to learn again and maybe for the first time in your life (?) To use it for your own good.

I came to the conclusion that my body during sleep is trying to achieve health and that it "knows" what and how to do it. The conscious "I" does not need to do anything while sleeping to wake up in the morning with a healed wound. What's more - the conscious "I", with - as practice has shown - a complete lack of competence in the matter of cooperation with their own body, in this state does more harm than good. So for the sake of the whole system, it would be better for it to turn off or deduce for as long as possible to support the body's activities in its active time, not sabotage them.

I realized that my conscious part does not have the function and power to make me healthy, that is, it cannot "stick" broken bone or scar wounds, but it can do to my body if this conscious part of me will make decisions that serve it. It still remained to specify what decisions the body serves.

These considerations made me realize that my body is a unit with high autonomy, which works, striving for the optimal state in given conditions. And that from every hesitation of balance he seeks to regain it. From every wound, to scar, from every damage to a possible whole. In a word - it is programmed for health, as much as possible, self-regulation, which is an innate process that occurs as long as the body lives and runs regardless of my awareness of this process. Until now, I had no such awareness, and yet I came out of diseases, at least less serious and cuts, spontaneously, thanks to the self-regulating ability of the body.

The next step was to answer the question - so what now with this knowledge that no further step? For precision - not a step further "old". 

A deep reflection on my medical history and questions about how I got to this point began to bother me. I started asking myself what was wrong. What is the mistake?

While searching for the answer to the question why I am moving away from health instead of approaching it, another question arose - am I able to answer this first? Because do I know what I'm talking about? Do I know what I'm trying to get close to and, as a result, move away? I asked myself if I have any idea what health is? Where does it come from? What makes a person healthy and what doesn't? and what is responsible for health? 

Gradually, I began to realize that my conscious efforts were counterproductive for some reason. Conclusion - therefore, something in my consciousness has an impact on this state. But what? I couldn't answer that at first. So I asked myself perversely what would happen if my consciousness turned off. Will the body be better, worse or maybe unchanged? And then something dawned on me.